I have quite a stack of deep, theological questions that I’m saving up to ask the Lord once I get to glory. But there is one question that precedes all others at the moment…..
“Why couldn’t Eve have been beguiled by a cute, cuddly little kitten?”
Eve would’ve risen quite a bit in my estimation had she actually given into the purrs of a fluffy kitty rather than the hiss of a slimy snake. In fact, after 32 years I still have not found very many good reasons why snakes must even be a part of the animal kingdom.
Now I can almost hear some of you thinking, “But, Kendra, especially as a Christian, you should be thankful for all God’s creatures!” True. But let me ask you this. Have you ever looked down at your foot to see an 18″ snake slithering across your bare toe and calmly said, “Thank You, Lord, for all things reptile?!!!” If you have done such a thing, you are many more rungs up the ladder of sainthood than I.
I was mowing our yard one beautiful, sunny day and trying to also watch the woods because of the cougar we had seen just a few days prior. (If you want that story, you’ll have to see the post “A Fainting Heart”). Anytime our dog, Storm, would start barking, I would immediately run to get the gun. Ain’t no way I’m standing by and letting a huge kitty cat take a chunk out of me.
As I was calmly mowing, Storm suddenly began barking ferociously and looking at the woods. Not a good sign when he’s barking at something behind me. With my heart in my throat, I race to the porch like I haven’t run in a long time. Once there, I look to the woods only to see Derek. He looks at me rather shocked that I could even run that fast and calmly states that he was just looking for a stick to make a bow. Yes, I could’ve throttled him.
On the edge of a nervous breakdown, I resume my mowing. It wasn’t 5 minutes later when I suddenly saw a movement at my feet and at the same time felt something cool and slippery slide across my big bare toe. I looked down and there was a giant snake….okay, he was probably 18″…..slithering through the grass. Here is where that breakdown I’d been so trying to avoid happened. For the second time in 5 minutes I moved at a speed unknown to man. And I daresay that snake moved at a speed unknown to the reptile division of the world. He looked as grateful to be rid of me as I was of him!
I’m just so thankful the the 3 runners who went by our house a few minutes earlier hadn’t stopped to look at scenery, thereby timing their run past me at the most inopportune time. I would rather die of a heart attack than embarrassment! I guarantee that seeing a housewife in her yard jumping up and down, shuddering, and squeaking (since a scream absolutely would not form) would’ve been the best entertainment Meadow Creek Road has seen in a long time. It probably appeared as though I was having seizures.
Of course, the kids came to see what all the commotion was about and were absolutely thrilled that there was snake included in all the excitement. Here is where I will have to tell you a very nagging thought I keep having……there are times when I wonder if those kids are mine. There is no way under the sun I would pick up a snake with my bare hands, dead or alive. Although dead would be more preferable than alive. And I certainly wouldn’t cry over my turn to hold the slimy thing. And did I mention this is not only my boys, but my daughter having done this?!! We might have to do DNA checking……because I’m fairly sure I’m missing that gene that loves all things reptile.
So for now my mowing has become a multi-faceted adventure. Not only do I have to watch my back to make sure I don’t have an unwanted kitty cat on the property; I also have to save my toes from slithering snakes. Forget watching where I’m mowing.