Sometimes a blogger can give the impression that they have all the answers. When they really don’t. I’m a person who loves to study and research and I hope I haven’t given this impression of “knowing-it-all” to you. For there are topics I truly don’t know the answers to as I’m still learning!
So every other Wednesday or so we’re going to take a question from one of you readers and put it up here for debate. It will not be something that I believe is clearly dictated and commanded in the Bible, but something that is a little more vague and open to discussion.
The question for today came from an anonymous reader:
My answer: Personally, I was taught that long hair is the glory of us women, and short hair is a shame — as I Corinthians 11 tells us. However, it doesn’t strictly say a woman should not trim her hair, keeping it even, kempt, and to a manageable length.
I have always had incredibly thick hair, until I started having babies and it would fall out after a birth. But it still grew back in thick enough that I would begin to get headaches and neckaches from the all that weight piled on my head. So I have my husband occasionally trim and thin it so that I do not have to pop so many Tylenol!
I love my hair down to my waist. It makes me feel like a beautiful, desirable woman. To me, it would be very shameful were someone to cut it off at the neck.
And as an extra bit of info, if you are a Mennonite/Plain gal who also has thick hair and wears it up, I have a tip for you. I’ve found that if I do my hair in a double bun, I can go longer between trimmings before getting headaches. Sometime I will post a tutorial on here of how to make a double bun.
All that to say that I feel we should keep it long, but that trimming or thinning it for manageable reasons is okay. Were God to have commanded that we not cut it at all, I would think differently. But in these verses it only associates a great deal of shame with shorn or shaven hair — which implies very short hair. However, maybe I’m missing a verse somewhere, so be sure to let me know!
Your answers: This reader wanted to know what you all think as well, so we’d love if you’d comment below. I removed the captcha code so it makes it easier for you to comment. And you don’t have to be a Blogger member either — just plain ole you! For those of you receiving this in your email inbox, click on the title and it will bring you to this post on the blog where you can give us your opinion.
If you have a question you would like to see discussed in the future, please email it to me at kendra_graber@yahoo.com. We will need many more! And if we can’t get any, I have many in my head which need some answers to.
Linking to Growing Home, Deep Roots at Home, Raising Homemakers, Women Living Well, and A Wise Woman Builds Her Home.
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Michelle-ozark crafter says
I am pretty much along the same lines as you. I do trim split ends. After wearing my hair short for years, I feel so much more womanly with it to my waist. My hair is much thinner than it was when I was younger so as long as I wear it in a flat bun and not pulled tight, headaches are not caused by it being up. I also have frequent migranes and being up does not cause more of them. Great post.
Elizabeth Spence says
Well, I’m not a Mennonite so maybe I’m not the audience you’re looking for comments from, but for what it’s worth…
I honestly think it’s a distraction to be worrying about the specific length of women’s hair. Since Scripture does not specify the length, it’s up to us humans to assign a number to it, and that can easily lead to legalism.
Personally, my husband actually prefers my hair short (the longest layer is about an inch below my ears right now) and has told me that repeatedly. I think it’s more important to keep myself attractive for my husband in the way he finds me attractive than to grow my hair out long just to say that I’m following “the rules”. If it makes someone feel shameful to cut their hair, then they shouldn’t cut their hair. But I don’t believe that we can make it a hard and fast rule.
Elizabeth@Warrior Wives
http://www.thewarriorwives.com
Nicole ~ "I'm staying home with my mom!" says
I completely agree! I have crazy thin hair and I have had it short most of my adult life. I will admit that I used to tell my hubby is was my hair and I’d wear it the way I want to……but I’ve sense realized this is selfish of me. I want to do what pleases my hubby, so right now I’m growing it out. Normally, he wants it long to a certain point…then says, ‘I like it better short, cut it’. grrr…men 😉 Anyway, I feel it’s definitely up to you (and your hubby) and shouldn’t be included into ‘rules’.
Jessie says
I think it is important to look at the bible and see what Paul was actually saying about hair length. First in 1 Cor. 11 5&6……. “But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven. For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered.”
And secondly in 1 Corinthians 13-15: ” Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered? Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him? But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.”
From the first 2 verses I think we can gather that, at least in that culture, it was a shame for a woman to have a shaved head…so Paul was saying that if a woman refuses to wear a veil, she may as well shave her head…it is one in the same.
From the last verses we see that Paul is not making a command for women to have to have long hair…he is making a point as to why a woman should wear a veil. He is giving a natural reason…like as if I were to say…”A mother should be attentive to her children, doth not even nature itself show you that for a mother to get up at night and breastfeed her baby is an honor for her, but for a man it is not an honor? I use this example because this is overall a true statement…an observation…but only an observation that helps to prove why a woman should be attentive to her children…this is not a command, and is not always possible…some woman cannot breastfeed. So, back to long hair…I believe Paul is simply saying this…” a woman should wear a headcovering…and one added argument I have is that even naturally…a woman likes long hair…it is a glorious and beautiful thing…but for a man it is shameful…not glorious at all!” I believe Paul was making a natural observation that expresses, in addition to all of the spiritual reasons to wear a head covering…that it even naturally makes sense. I do not believe that the hair is the emphasis here…the headcovering is. I think we need to be careful that we do not get our focus in the wrong place. It is ironic that this would come up today as I am fixing my daughter’s hair. My daughter is of African decent. She will NEVER have long hair. She loves long hair…in fact just recently I put extensions in her hair because she so desperately wanted long hair. It is natural for women to desire long hair…but many woman will never have it! There are close to a billion African descendants in our world. True African American women will never have long hair naturally. My daughter’s hair will never be below the base of her neck naturally. She is beautiful and her hair is beautiful.
Long hair is beautiful…no doubt about it…so are long eyelashes and thin bodies…but we need to be careful that it does not become a source of pride or condemnation towards others. I believe this passage is mainly expressing that God has a divine order and the symbolic expression of this is for a woman to wear a head covering while praying or prophesying. In light of the principle of submission…if your husband prefers long hair..providing it is in your genetic capabilities to grow it long…grow it long…beyond that…I would have to conclude biblical, it is not something to divide or argue over.
Just my 2 cents…Thanks for the thought provoking articles and questions. Love to you all!!!!
L says
Jessie, I enjoyed reading your comment, and I agree with you. I don’t think Paul was commanding women not to cut their hair as you explained earlier, but I do not agree with your comment about African American hair. It is very false, as I am proof. My hair is to my waist, and I do not have any chemicals in it whatsoever (I am African). I will say that the reason so many African women do not have long hair is because, some of them use chemicals that simply weaken the hair (relaxers, dyes, etc.), and they do not care for it properly.
African hair is very delicate and fragile. A lot of times it can not handle these chemical processes and it will cause it to break off. African hair needs to be moisturized often, due to its dry nature with water, natural oils, and conditioner, for instance. It should not be combed to roughly; I don’t comb my hair at all, I just simply finger through it. When shampooing, one should really focus on the scalp as opposed to the hair for this hair type. I simply say this so that you can care for your daughter’s hair so that it can grow long, because it is very possible. It is just that many people are ignorant on how to care for this hair type ( people of African descent included!). Moisture (especially on the hair ends) and gentle handling are key.
It is also important to note that African hair in it’s kinky/coily state does not show it’s true length. For example, if I wash my hair and air dry it without doing anything, it will rise up to my neck, but if you pull the hair down it comes to my waist.
sarah smith says
i am not menninite, but i do have an oppinion on the subject. i think that it is most important for your hair cut to please your husband. my husband likes my hair any length, as long as it is distictly a womans cut. i had a horrible time with my hair falling out in huge clumps after my last baby was born, and my husband begged me to cut it off until it stopped, so that he didnt have to clean our tub drain so much, and didnt find huge long hairs on his clothes all day. my hair was almost to my waist at the time, and i cut it to chin length in the front, and shorter in the back. i kept it this way for almost a year, and then grew it back out. now it is about to my bra strap, and still growing. the bible does say that a womans hair is her glory, and my choice would always be to have it very long, but i needed to respect my husbands wishes, and cut it for a while. i do feel very strongly about woman always looking like woman, no matter what angle you are seeing them from. my mother in law has a very masculine short hair cut, and my husband is often horrified when we see her in her loungey clothes, and her hair so short. she looks like a man from all angles, and it is disturbing to him. i think that as long as you look like a woman, and your husband is happy, the length of the hair is not the issue.
Laura says
I’m with Elizabeth Spence on this one… I think a lot of the “rules” we follow are based on our human thoughts & not on what God would want us to be worried about. I’ve had super long hair, & I’ve had super short hair, & I’ve loved God & been loved by Him in return in each situation. We allow these worldly distractions to consume us to the point that Christians are divided over piddly things, instead of being united against the Enemy. (For what it’s worth, I find that when my hair is long, I find myself fussing with it more than when it is short & I can just run a brush through it & get on with my day, being the wife & mom God called me to be.)
Cara says
I agree with your thoughts, Kendra. Our hair can be trimmed and even cut somewhat and it is still much longer than our husbands. I also have very thick hair and to keep it manageable, it occasionally gets a bit taken off. I would love to hear how to make a double bun!
Btw, I agree with Elizabeth in the fact that hair length can become a distraction if that is all we are focusing on. However, I do believe that the Bible does teach that women’s hair should be something other than “shaven or shorn”.
Kendra Graber says
Wow! I just got home and found these comments in my email. I would like to add one thing I should’ve mentioned in the post — and that is the fact that Jessie brought out about how some people cannot grow long hair no matter how hard they try. Just like some men can only grow 2 whiskers!! 🙂
Thank you all for your thoughts.
Amy says
HI, I have found you via Raising Homemakers and I thought I would add my thoughts. I think about this issue, esp since becoming the Mumma to 4 daughters! My husband and I like the girls (and me) to look like girls. So we have feminine hair styles but that doesn’t always mean long hair but it does mean not short/masculine hair. At the moment the girls are all growing it because they want to be Repunzel, but my hair is between chin and shoulder length. It is pretty and my husband likes it. 🙂
Sheryl says
I have been wondering about and struggling with this issue so much lately. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts! You’ve answered a lot of my questions!
Beth Cover says
Great post – love how you are willing to ask questions on the not clearly mandatory things….iron sharpens iron. I used to have hair long enough to sit on (barely) when I was in my teens. I also have very think hair and had to always thin it to keep from getting headaches. I didn’t like the way it got so scraggily at the bottom due to excessive thinning. I have cut it many times and have no qualms whatsoever about that b/c I am obeying the scriptural principle of keeping my head covered to honor my head. My dh has encouraged both shorter and longer…so I just go with that accordingly. I’d say – obey the spirit of the Bible, discuss with your head, and honor in a feminine manner. I’m currently letting it get longer…so please explain the double bun, although I’m not sure it would work in our coverings? However, I do spend a lot of homedays wearing a scarf/hankerchief all day.
Joluise says
I grew up in the Brethren Meeting where cutting hair was seen as wrong. As a child my mother only trimmed the split ends. My mum always wore hers up in a bun as it was quite long (but very thin). When she had a stroke at 75 my dad couldn’t manage her hair and she went through a huge struggle about cutting her hair so my dad could do it every morning. In the end she did get it cut as a bob and it looks beautiful, so much nicer than her stern bun she had all her life.
My hair is shoulder length and feminine – I think it needs to look feminine and not like a boy (as we are told not to dress as a boy) I have curly hair that will never be at my waist so I go to the hairdressers every 10 weeks and get a nice trim. My hair is still my glory even though it isn’t too my waist. Also the fashions of the Biblical times was long hair, so it would be expected that women all wore their hair long anyway.
Jolita says
Here is what I decided on the issue a while back. Obviously we can’t make a hard and fast rule such as, long hair is waist length hair. Some people can’t grow hair that is that long! I believe that long hair is what ever length hair God has naturally given me. So therefore I will not cut any of it off because then I would be making it short. After having 3 babies, my hair is now the longest it’s ever been – mid-calf. So I do understand the struggles of those of you with really long hair.
Trisha says
I agree with Jolita. If God says long hair, than who am I to decide how long? After 2 children, mine is currently knee length and I do not have trouble with head aches. Even if I did, I would find some other way of dealing with them (essential oils, chiropractic,etc.) besides cutting or trimming my hair.
Berta Manco says
Well, long hair can really make a girl beautiful. More attractive. I always have my long hair. My Grandma does not allow me to have it cut. Thanks for the thoughts you have here though.
Michele says
I think it is important to have hair that is beautiful, pleasing to your husband, and manageable. If a lady keeps her hair long, but it is poorly cared for, she does not look glorious, she looks like a mess. If she is a lady who works outside of the home, it should also be a length or style that is safe. I’m not a Mennonite or anything, and I have very thick hair (I am 1/4 Italian, what do you expect? 🙂 and I have been trying to grow it long. Now that it is past my shoulders, and comes to about mid-back, I am starting to find it to be getting too fussy. I have to move my hair out of the way to sleep, or else I am laying on it and it pulls on my head. I can’t sleep with my hair pulled up into a ponytail or anything like that, so it ends up laying off to the side.
And during, um, intimate times with my husband my hair gets in the way. Luckily, he likes it up for those occasions, especially during the hot Nevada summer!
So, in my household, I think slightly longer than shoulder length is the best solution. It looks nice and feminine, and my husband compliments me. It works for us 🙂
The life and times of a globe trotter.... says
I don’t really know if I feel qualified to speak here as I am not married…but I have very long THICK hair. Actually my sister and I both do. It is almost to our ankles… Our mom and dad do not want us to cut or thin our hair and that is fine w/ me at least…don’t really know about her…She struggles w/ headaches and such but I don’t. I did have a horrid time when i first started putting my hair up w/ it pulling…there were at least twice that i had to redo it over breaktime at school…while i was still in school myself. I have heard of people cutting split ends but then I heard an older lady say one time that split ends where natures way of keeping our hair at the length God wanted it to be. Washing my hair is the biggest bear! it takes FOREVER to dry! but I have learned to wash it early in the evening and let it hang all evening so by morning it is mostly dry….if i wash it too late it won’t be dry to put up by morning.
After struggling for several years w/ trying to come up w/ a neat way to put my hair up….after many Sunday afternoon naps skipped playing w/ it I finally figured out how to do a very neat double bun. And to BETH COVER i think it would work w/ your covering…I personally wear the cap style covering and it works well. Some ppl don’t even know I do a double bun.
Anyway, there are my rambling thoughts on the issue…..I hope it all makes sense and can be an encouragement to somebody….
Anonymous says
Laura here: I’m doing research on length of hair for myself (luckily, I only cut it short once). It started when I researched 1 Cor. 11 about head coverings. I was frustrated when I discovered that no one had ever told me that the Greek word used for “covering” (the first time it’s used about prayer) literally meant a piece of cloth. You can’t interpret a piece of cloth as any other thing, so I now wear hats to church and am considering wearing them all the time. Then I wondered about hair length. I researched the history of hair length and coverings and found that all Christian women had uncut hair, wore it up,, and had it covered by a veil, hat, or bonnet until recently. They didn’t stop wearing coverings until the mid- to late-1800s. Hair was never cut or worn down until the roaring 1920s, and wearing hats to church didn’t cease until the 1960s. Think about this, the 1960s was the feminist movement when women wanted to be equal as men, so of course they wouldn’t want to wear the symbol of a man’s authority on their heads. Back to hair length, if Christians had always understood 1 Cor. to be clear about this, I see no reason to reinterpret just so us ladies can fit in with the world with cute little haircuts. I do agree with Kendra’s blog. Thank you for sharing!!
Anonymous says
Another Laura: Thanks, Laura, for the history lesson-it agrees with the Bible.
Little Natural Cottage says
Kendra, I am Pentecostal, and many of the women in our fellowship do not cut their hair. Personally, I do not feel that the Word of God condemns cutting hair. I feel that the principle from Scripture is femininity and modesty, not uncut hair.
Linda says
Forgive me if this is much too old a post to comment on, but I have a question. I have a problem with almost constant headaches, and when I have relatively long hair (past my shoulders), it is frustrating because I can’t wear my hair up, nor can I wear a headcovering. Actually, I can’t wear a headcovering for more than a few hours, even when I have shorter hair, as much as I would love too. I am a Baptist, not a Mennonite, and I have never quite bought the standard answer that i get from other Baptists that as long as my hair is longer than is appropriate for a man, it’s long enough. So, I grow it, my headaches get worse, then I cut it from frustration (this last time, I wound up with it too short, and now, of course, I feel guilty). My question is: what do I do? Should I grow my hair and wear a headcovering any way, or does He understand why I don’t? Thank you for your time, it is much appreciated.
Linda
Kendra says
I have this same problem – so you are not alone! I do a couple things which help: I thin my hair frequently. You can buy thinning scissors, so this lets you keep the length, but thin out some of your hair. I also wear my hair in a double bun – this helps to distribute the weight of my hair more evenly on my head. You can also use a clip under your bun, which helps to hold part of the weight. I also trim it sometimes when I thin it – just depends how long it has gotten. However, you could perhaps even look at a longer veil – one that lets you wear your hair down and still covered up. This could even perhaps be done when only at home, if you don’t want others to see you wearing your hair down. Just a few suggestions! I personally believe the women of the early church wore their hair long and hanging down, but with a long, flowing veil to cover it. This is certainly what you see in the pictures! 🙂
Linda says
Thank you for such a quick, thoughtful. You have indeed given me some food for thought.
Linda
Linda says
Ok, I’m a dingaling. I meant to say a quick, thoughtful reply. That’ll teach me to proof read more closely, or, better yet, not to post when I’m between routes on my school bus. Or not. Anyway, thank you so very much.
Kendra says
🙂 No problem!! I sometimes don’t proofread an entire blog post well. Have a great day!
Laura says
I need some help with something about hair. I’ve kept my hair long for Biblical reasons, and at one point I started wearing my hair pinned up every time I go out in public. When I read in 1 Cor. 11 about hair being my “glory,” I realized that in the Bible one’s glory is something to be hidden except for something special. For example, God conceals His glory and only shows some of it for certain people/occasions. It seems I’m the only one who has made this connection. Or is it a connection? You and many ladies who visit this site wear your hair up (and mostly hidden) and I’d love for you to share about why you do so.
My husband does not agree about my conclusion to wear my hair up and asked if I would wear it down outside the home. I also pointed out to him that it seems like just about every picture of Christian women throughout history depicts women with their hair pinned up and/or covered. I like wearing my hair up because I don’t worry about my hair the way I used to. No one else gets to admire my hair except my husband and family if they’re around. (By the way, I do wear head coverings in congregational settings.)
Kendra says
We would agree that our hair is our glory and something to be enjoyed by our husband and not every man we meet! We wear ours pinned up under our veils – mostly because this is how it’s been done throughout our Anabaptist history – and it fits the style of head veiling we have chosen. If our church had decided that we women could wear our hair hanging, then we would have to choose a much longer veil to cover the hanging hair. Does this make sense? Whether the hair is hanging or pinned up, the veil needs to be big enough to cover the majority of it. This is the way we would put I Corinthians into practice. Personally, I am so used to having my hair up and out of my way, that I do not like it hanging down around me for long! This is good since it means I usually get it pinned up before too many long hairs get added to the breakfast menu!! 😉 Here is a great website that has much info on the headcovering: http://www.headcoveringmovement.com/
God bless!