Maybe nobody is like me in that they have a dread of growing old and boring. I’m not sure why we associate one with the other, but it seems we do.
This is why I married Lowell.
I knew without a doubt that I would be a boring, stick-in-the-mud otherwise.
Alright, so maybe that was not THE entire reason I married him. Love did have a huge part to do with it . . . But he really is an exciting guy! Those of you who know him will testify that what I say is true. He loves to tease – and at first, I did the normal newlywed thing and simply blushed. Over the years I got tired of blushing and decided that if he could dish it out . . . I would begin to dish it back. If I was going to make it for 70 more years, I was going to have to learn to play the game.
But I have run into a unique problem. I am not as good with thinking up jokes to play on him – he could beat me at that hands-down any day. So the other week, when he was preparing to leave for Pennsylvania for his brother’s wedding, I decided to contact my “resources”. This is my friends. Maybe they could help me.
On the Monday before he left, I ran out to the carport while Lowell thought I was making breakfast. I quickly snapped a picture of the Jeep’s side door with my phone. Later on that day, once Lowell was safely out of the way and at work, I texted one of my resources – Evan Schlabach. We are good friends with their family and he has put up with our teasing quite well. So I figured he might help me in the “getting back” a bit. Plus he knows photography tricks – which I don’t.
He was happily willing to take my photo and, umm . . . enhance it a bit. This was the picture after he revised it!
Now you will need to know that there is a history behind this story and a slight truth behind the scare we were going to give Lowell. I have been known to “rearrange” Jeep parts in the past. We won’t disclose how recent of the past it was.
I was also planning to run the mail route the Saturday Lowell was gone, thus giving me the chance to cause his stomach to drop when I sent him this picture. I knew I only had a split second to get him, because he is extremely hard to pull a prank on.
On Friday, I contacted his sister to see if she would be willing to video his response at the wedding when he received his Jeep picture text. This way, we could see how exactly he responded to our little prank. She was willing and I was all set for Saturday.
So along about the time Lowell was sitting in the middle of the wedding reception 3,000 miles away . . . I sent him this picture and a text that was supposed to sound like I was mortified. Truth is, had this really happened, I probably would have called him, nearly in tears. But I knew there was no way I could pull that off! So if I could cause his heart to plummet to his toes for even a split second – I would consider it a success.
And we did it!
He confessed that for a second his heart stopped, but then his analytical mind kicked into high gear. The text I received back said:
“Hehe . . . good try. A real dent goes in. 🙂 “
Bummer. He caught on way too quickly! But at least we got one second in. He then began to list all the things he immediately thought of:
- A dent goes in. I considered that wrinkled with parts in and out….but whatever.
- That USPS sign is a magnet, and if the door had been dented, it would have fallen off. Yeah, well. Blondes can’t think of everything . . .
- The scratched area stopped at the edge of the dent. Oops.
- You can see the reflection of the Toyota in the side of the Jeep. So he knew this picture had been taken at home, not on the mail route. Well, lookee here Bub. It was probably cold that morning and I most likely was shivering in my stocking feet . . . besides, the eggs might have been burning – so I was in a hurry.
Even though he congratulated me on my imagination, and we only got him for a split second, it still accomplished my main purpose: I didn’t want him to go all that way to Pennsylvania and forget about me!
Believe me. He didn’t forget me.
And after 16 years . . . I can still make his heart stop.