From the first moment I knew you were there, I also knew you might not be with us for very long. Icy fear gripped my heart as I held my breath and waited.
I did not want to love . . . . . . only to lose yet again. I knew how much that hurts.
But then I heard a sweet whisper –
And slowly the fear that clutched my heart began to loosen its strangle hold. For I realized how selfish it was to withhold my love from my own flesh and blood, no matter how deep the pain it might inflict on my own heart.
My dreams for you were not big ones. They did not reach farther than this moment in time. But nonetheless, they were hopes and dreams of you, my precious baby. Each moment I carried you was bittersweet, knowing it was only for a little while. Yet the memories of these few short weeks, I will carry in my heart forever.
I do not understand why God must have one more child to fill the portals of Heaven.
Yet for some reason, God has need of you there. Perhaps it is to watch over the three who have gone before you.
And so, my precious darling . . . . . . . I send you to Heaven with love. Go Home, sweet Baby, and wait for me there.