From the first moment I knew you were there, I also knew you might not be with us for very long. Icy fear gripped my heart as I held my breath and waited.
I did not want to love . . . . . . only to lose yet again. I knew how much that hurts.
But then I heard a sweet whisper –
And slowly the fear that clutched my heart began to loosen its strangle hold. For I realized how selfish it was to withhold my love from my own flesh and blood, no matter how deep the pain it might inflict on my own heart.
My dreams for you were not big ones. They did not reach farther than this moment in time. But nonetheless, they were hopes and dreams of you, my precious baby. Each moment I carried you was bittersweet, knowing it was only for a little while. Yet the memories of these few short weeks, I will carry in my heart forever.
I do not understand why God must have one more child to fill the portals of Heaven.
Yet for some reason, God has need of you there. Perhaps it is to watch over the three who have gone before you.
And so, my precious darling . . . . . . . I send you to Heaven with love. Go Home, sweet Baby, and wait for me there.
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The 4 Muskateers says
O Kendra, big hugs…Our thoughts and prayers are with you!!! We love you lady
HIS daughter says
My heart really does go out to you. I just found your blog yesterday but was inspired by your love for your family and your love for God.
I am so sorry for your loss and I know words are not really a help at all at a time like this so just know I am praying for you! And here is a hug even though it is via a blog post.
Praying,
Katy
Berneice says
Hugs!! May God bring your comfort and peace!
Carolyn says
Hugs, prayers, and my own tears are with you, dear friend.
Jacinda @ Growing Home says
Praying for you Kendra. Your post brought me to tears.
Rachal says
Kendra, I’m crying…..may you find comfort and peace in the arms of Jesus.
Kendra Graber says
Thank you ladies. Even those of you whom I’ve only recently “met”, I can feel your prayers. They mean so much to me!
Anonymous says
luv you Kendra.
~jeanie
Anonymous says
Kendra, I have no words, so I will just be silent with you. My heart hurts for you. Hugs. we are praying.. kristi
Anonymous says
XOXOXOXO, Kendra. What a glad reunion to look forward to!
~~~Mom G
Anonymous says
Dear Kendra, I’m so sorry you have to go through this. Sometimes life makes no sense at all, but someday I hope you can look back and see that God had a plan. You’re in my thoughts and prayers. I know it’s a tough thing to go through…may God be very near to you!
Love,
Esther
Arlene says
Kendra, Have you read the book: I’ll Hold You in Heaven by Jack Hayford? If not, I want to send you a copy. I purchased dozens when I had my first miscarriage. It truly spoke to a part of my heart towards healing. Much LOVE and prayers,
Arlene
Kendra Graber says
I’m not sure if I have. I know I’ve seen it and have heard people talk of it, but I can’t remember the content. So probably not! Thanks for the love and prayers.
Caroline @ The Modest Mom says
Kendra,
I’m so sorry for your loss. 🙁 This post was heartbreaking to read. I pray the Lord will give you strength to heal from losing your sweet baby that you loved for a few weeks.