The following are real-life quotes either spoken/written directly by these women themselves or written about them. All names have been replaced with an * or Mr./Mrs. *.
With visionary talent, * is now further using her passions to continually grow and challenge herself and those around her in her current position as the full-time Pastor of Worship and Arts at * Church in *, TN . . . In addition to her full-time position as a pastor, * continues her platform outside of * spending her time speaking, singing and leading worship at other churches, conferences and venues, and writing with other artists and musicians . . . * also is a mother of 2 wonderfully, demanding and beautiful children . . . She’s also married to *, her partner in this adventure of life and her best friend.
More than 1,200 women worshiped and prayed and sought God in the * Music Hall as more than 40,000 more women joined by simulcast across 120 countries. We, God’s daughters, came out of our small rooms, joined hands in the courtyard and worshiped our Father. We broke bread as family, leaving our divisive small-room theology in the small rooms.
What if discovering God’s unique calling for your life is your greatest responsibility, second only to knowing and loving God? Your restlessness may very well be a divine invitation to purpose, calling and life.
The NY Times article notes that Mr * spends much of the day negotiating [his wife’s] speaking invitations and her book contracts. In the afternoon it’s often [Mr *] who collects the boys from school. Back home, * and * divide chores and child care equally . . . [Mr.*] quit his job to run his wife’s ministry . . . [Mrs.*] now accepts about 20 out of some 300 speaking invitations each year, and she publishes a stream of Bible studies, workbooks and corresponding DVDs intended for women to read and watch with their girlfriends from church. [Mr. *] does his share of housework and child care so that * can study and write. He travels with his wife everywhere. Whenever possible, they take their sons along on her speaking trips, but they often deposit the boys with [Mr.*’s] mother.
I’m a thoroughly liberated beneficiary of the feminist movement, complete with a blossoming career, an egalitarian marriage, and a messy house. I strongly support women at all levels of leadership in the church, and am suspicious of anyone who would claim that the Bible presents just one “right way” to be woman. One of my goals in taking on a year of biblical womanhood is to encourage Christian women to cut themselves and one another some slack because none of us are practicing biblical womanhood 100%! We’re all selective!
While our culture is changing, and professionally women are holding positions of leadership, many women still wrestle with identifying themselves as leaders or feeling empowered to operate within their full leadership potential. Gaps in leadership training have forced women to compartmentalize their lives, separating work, church, and home. * exists to help create an interconnected life in Christ, who affirms and acknowledges every woman’s gifts, passions, and leadership potential for the glory of the Kingdom.
I have been troubled for sometime now with a movement I see among prominent, Christian women today. It is a trend that goes against what the Bible plainly teaches for us in our role as Biblical wives and mothers. And this movement is doing much to harm families and marriages.
Now you are probably thinking “But I’m not one of those prominent, Christian women, so why should I be concerned about this?” Whether we want to admit it or not, many of these women have influenced us with their books, talks, shows and online image. And any unbiblical influence in our lives needs to be taken seriously.
Christian women are using the premise of “finding your unique calling” or “fulfilling your spiritual gifts” as an excuse to leave the home. They claim God has shown them visions of changing the world by uniting arms with their fellow sisters. It’s never enough to them to simply be the wife and mother God made them to be – they constantly let us know how they are seeking a better purpose and meaning to their life.
These women think nothing of sharing the stage with a man or preaching to mixed audiences. Yes, I said “preaching” – some of these women are ordained preachers. They are not content with the role God gave them or the fan club contained within their own homes. Instead, they crave the celebrity status the world has to offer.
In some instances, the husband must take the position God originally gave the woman: that of being the helpmeet. These women preach, teach and travel worldwide to help the dying children . . . while they leave their own little ones behind at home.
And all this is done in the name of Jesus. Jesus wanting them to develop their spiritual gifts or find their unique calling to save the world, the dying and the hungry.
I will not sugarcoat it, ladies. This is simply feminism repackaged.
Sure, it’s for a good cause most of the time . . . but is it done with the Lord’s blessing as laid out in Scripture?
When we women become discontent with our marriages, homes or roles – Satan will get us to look elsewhere. He doesn’t want women who take joy in being the wife and mother God made them to be. He knows how much havoc it can wreak in his kingdom when we gladly and willingly step into our God-given roles.
That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Titus 2:4-5
So, Kendra, are you saying that women are never to leave the home, work in missions or teach at conferences?
Of course not. As you can see from Titus 2:4-5, the older women teaching the younger ones is Biblical and right. Teaching and mentoring is an awesome responsibility and joy. In fact, I was recently at a small, local women’s retreat and enjoyed the teaching of older women – although I still took what they said back to the Word of God, as we all should.
I think where women can get sidetracked is when they make this their life’s calling – above that of wife and mother, especially with children still at home. Then when they go a step further and begin to usurp authority over men (or teaching them) is when it goes directly against Scripture.
Some women go on the mission field with their husbands and I admire them greatly. They follow their soul-mates across oceans, in deserts and to huge cities. They work beside them as the helpmeet God made them to be! But they are not the ones who decide where and when they go – as the rightful leader, the husband does these things.
The mission field is also a great place for single women. God can use these single women in wonderful ways – women who are not tied down to more earthly things like diapers and midnight feedings. Teaching is another avenue God may use single women. I’d like to think I would have went into a full-time career of teacher myself, had I not been whisked to the altar by a certain handsome gentleman.
As wives and mothers, I do believe we need to be careful how much and how often we leave the home, our husbands and our children on a mission to do God’s work. I’ve even wrestled with this question of “leaving the home” via this blog. In some ways, I could fall into the same trap if I neglect my husband and children to do the studying, writing and teaching I’d like to do on here.
There is another aspect of this that we women don’t like to talk about, but it is true and bears a little reminder. We are more prone to deception than the man, as Eve thus showed us in the Garden of Eden. (The man is too, so don’t think he gets off scot-free!) I’m speaking generally here, but we women want our world to be rosy, so we believe it is so. Skepticism does not come to us as naturally as it does our men. And out of balance, this is not good. We each need the other for balance.
But God has graciously set up a safety net to keep us from falling so quickly for everything. He has given us our authorities and we truly need to be grateful for them. Yet when a woman willingly steps out from under her rightful authority, she is telling the devil that she is fair game. The safety net is no longer there. Now if your authority is living in sin, I’d suggest you look at this article.
Whether we women want to admit it or not, this tendency to “see what we want to see” and “hear what we want to hear” is in all of us. Even in writing articles such as this, I admit it can be one-sided so I must go to Lowell and ask him to please review it and point out anything he sees is biblically wrong. Maybe this seems old and archaic to you . . . but to me, it is incredibly safe and secure. God gave me to him as an helpmeet – and he, in turn, is my protector.
For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man.
Neither was the man created for the woman, but the woman for the man.
I Cor. 11:8-9
We need to ask ourselves these pointed questions:
- Is it discontent that motivates me?
- Do I have my husband’s full blessing and consent to do this certain thing?
- Have I usurped my husband’s (or men in the church) role by performing this activity?
- Am I neglecting my husband or children to do this thing I want so much to do?
- Have I trampled upon the men in my life to get what I want?
- Will I look back in twenty years at the state of my marriage and children – and regret I did this?
Some women will probably claim they feel stifled in their role as wife and mother. They feel as though they cannot use their spiritual gifts well and are not touching lives for the kingdom of God.
My answer to that excuse will always be this: NEVER underestimate the incredible potential for ministry that you have in your home, the lives of your children, a godly marriage and the power of intercessory prayer.
Learn to work within your boundaries. There is an immense amount of “kingdom work” available and needed while staying within the biblical guidelines for your role. If you’re stumped about what you can do, ask the One who giveth wisdom “to all men liberally” (James 1:5). He will show you.
I am reminded of the parable of the talents in Matthew 25:14-30. It is not that our role is any less important than our husband’s. It is not that our gift or talent is any less needful to the church than someone else’s. Our fault lies when we covet the gift, talent or role that God uniquely gave someone else and/or do not avail ourselves of the ones God HAS given us.
Open your hand to see what God has already placed there for you to use for His honor and His glory. Not for our own honor, but always to turn the eyes of others to our precious Savior and Lord.
There is so much beauty in a flower that blooms where it’s planted.
God wants women with joy.
God wants women with purpose.
God wants women with a calling.
But it still needs to be the correct, Biblical calling and purpose.