In this day and age, there is a great need to teach our children to dress modestly as well as refrain from following the fashions of the day. The word “modesty”implies that clothing must provide enough fabric to cover the body so that others are not tempted or embarrassed. I know most of us have a struggle with this subject in some way—be it modesty or influenced by the fashions of the day. Satan has so cunningly worked his way into the church, tempting the saints to blend in with the world around us. Mothers who take the time to teach their daughters to sew have a great advantage in helping to counter these influences.
Jesus said men are not to look on a woman to lust after her—and while men are admonished to “flee youthful lusts”, the revealing clothing worn by women today, unmistakably contributes to the down-hill trend of our society. Modesty also implies dressing with restraint and avoiding clothes that are designed to draw attention to oneself. Immodesty is a sin which God detests! Modern fashions are designed to catch the attention of the male; such as too tight in the bust or hips, too short hemlines, or too low necklines. This also includes fabrics that are too transparent, as they can reveal the outlines of the undergarments.
We must begin teaching our daughters while very small: teaching them to keep their dresses down and to keep covered. You may wish to do as our one daughter does: she wears little bloomers or short leggings under her little girl’s dresses as she is always playing around boys. Another point to bring in here-is to encourage our young daughters to act like little ladies. One suggestion is to wear night gowns on them for bed instead of pajamas. Wearing pajamas (or any pants, alone,) may cause them to become too “comfortable or familiar” in them.
When teaching modesty to our teenage daughters, it is as much the father’s responsibility as the mother’s. The father knows the temptations that alluring clothing present to a man by revealing her body in some way. He should have enough godly character to insist that his daughters cover themselves sufficiently. I know (from experience) that it’s much more effective when daddy explains than mom. I finally came to my husband and said, “I need some help here”, so he sat our three daughters down and explained some things to them. By it coming from a man, and especially their daddy, they were much more enlightened, and understanding of it. The Bible says we should “train up a child in the way he should go…” Prov. 22:6- not in the way the world goes!
Our teen daughters need to know that the sex-drive in men is very strong. They can be sparked by the mere sense of sight. Women are different from men-they tend to crave the man’s love and attention. The young girl who dresses immodestly, to cause a young man to lust after her, is as much at fault as he. So we must start young-teaching our children purity of heart.
The following information was taken from one of the writings of Harold Martin:
“A survey conducted some years ago among policemen and other law enforcement officers (from 37 states) included these 2 questions:
1.) Is a girl more likely to be a victim of crime if she dresses immodestly?
2.) Do boys and men generally consider short skirts an invitation to sex-oriented attentions?
Nearly all the officers answered these questions with an unqualified “yes”. Women and young girls simply cannot parade about, exposing their bodies to the opposite sex without inviting abuse. A man can be provoked into thinking what he doesn’t want to think.”
Boys are often overlooked when it comes to this subject, but they, too, need instruction on modesty: such as refraining from wearing tight-fitting pants or shirts, going shirtless, etc. Their teaching should also begin young to instill purity of heart, and respect for girls and young ladies. Encouraging them to behave as gentlemen can strengthen this behavior.
O, mothers and fathers, let us be diligent in bringing up our little ones to love and honor the Savior, and to be pure in heart. Let us search God’s Word and examine our own hearts, that we would not be a stumbling-block in the path of these precious young ones God has blessed us with—who are the future church!
Submitted in love–
- Teaching Children To Obey On First Call - April 30, 2015
- Teaching Modesty To Our Children{Grandma’s Column} - March 31, 2015
- Train Up A Child{Grandma’s Column} - January 27, 2015
Betsy says
Thank you for this post. I have been saying similar things for awhile now, but I am always told that men are responsible for their own thoughts and actions. The girls can dress however they want to. Very sad. I pray daily for a return to good morals and convictions, especially within the church.
Blessings,
Betsy
Kendra says
It is indeed sad. I don’t think women stop to think how much God will hold them accountable for!
Henry Walker says
Very good Donna. Sure wish more would follow this. Enjoyed reading your article.
Susan M. says
Thanks Donna for the encouragement and tips.
Girls can be modestly dressed but have a very immodest demeanor around males. Modesty is a heart issue; we can force someone to dress one way but we also need to train their hearts and habits.
We have to be careful with a “one-size-fits-all” policy because I have found that what is modest on some girls is not modest other ones. I have also found that my girls are more modest sleepers wearing a tunic and loose pajama pants than they would be in nightgowns.
Kendra says
Thank you, Susan, for that reminder! I have often thought that what looks modest on tinier women can look horribly immodest on bigger ladies. We each need to look at our ownselves and apply modesty in all things – even our attitudes and actions! Excellent point.
Leah says
I think modesty can be way overdone, to the point where it actually abuses the children it is trying to protect. I think focusing on modesty all the time narrows women down to objects and not people. If we train our sons to see people and not focus on their dress we will be a lot better off.
Kendra says
(I am responding also to what you posted on facebook 🙂 )
With a husband and raising five sons, I don’t think we can be too careful in how we dress ourselves and our daughters. I’m not saying to make it an abuse, but use common sense. It has helped me tremendously by looking at my clothing through my husband’s eyes – or the eyes of any man. It is true that what we women think is simply “cute” will be seen by a man as “sensual”. And I agree we need to help our sons see people and not their dress, but how hard is that when the woman provocatively displays her body parts? I think we can also forget how this modesty issue is not simply a conviction – according to I Timothy 2:9, it is an actual command.
May God bless you!
Kim says
This post was very encouraging. Thank you. I have young daughter, so I have my work cut out for me! Do you think your husband would consider doing a post on male modesty. Modesty is not only a woman’s issue and too often we as Christians forget that. Case in point: I was out for a walk in broad daylight and a young man approached me and made a lewd suggestion, while I was not wearing a cape dress, I was wearing an ankle length denim skirt, an over sized tee shirt that reached to my elbows and a head covering. I was certainly not dressed provocatively!
Just as it is our responsibility not to incite lust in men, it is also a man’s responsibility to not gaze at a woman with lust in his heart.
Kendra says
Oh, I’m sorry! Treatment like that can leave you with an awful feeling. I will ask my husband see what he says – it’s an excellent suggestion!
Btw, I think of you often and hope you are doing well. 🙂