Me sent a memo to Myself and I:
Let’s have a date – just we three!
When: Saturday at 8:00 am
What for: grocery shopping and coffee
P.S. Ask Dad to babysit. Use some lame excuse like “you need to get ice cream for Sunday” –
whatever it takes, just be there!
Me was happy to find that the other two were extremely willing to go along. I mean, seriously . . . what mom of six kids wouldn’t jump at the chance to go away for an hour with just me, myself and I? Even if it is to get groceries.
Well 8:00 rolled around and, wouldn’t you know it, but Myself was late. Me and I had to wait for her until 8:06. She had some story of dishes that got piled up in the sink the night before and how she would be in a really bad mood to come back home to them for the second time. The other two rolled their eyes and told her just to “get in the car already”! Thankfully, she was old enough to strap herself in.
Coffee and groceries were waiting.
So the three took off and it was silent. Dead silent. All three were immensely enjoying the quiet that comes from nobody fighting over who gets the front seat on the way home. Nobody threw their pacifier at the windshield or their sippy cup on the floor. Me, who was driving, did not have to drive with one hand while waving the other arm behind her seat in search of the toy tractor. All three agreed to the same music and listened politely.
It was wonderful. Doesn’t it sound wonderful?
However, at the grocery store things took a turn for the worse. Myself started getting all greedy with the sweet bell peppers on sale in the produce section. I decided she must have an entire bag full of fresh kiwis. Me was trying to figure out how to take a selfie on the juice aisle. It took her about five tries since she was scratching her blonde head at “how do people do this anyway?” You have to understand that Me is used to about six other heads that want in the picture too. You should have heard her complain about how selfies “make your cheeks look puffy”.
Myself and I were ready to leave her in the juice aisle. Alone. With her phone.
Things got a little interesting near the dog food section. The three stopped and listened as a man in the next aisle was talking loudly, VERY loudly, on his cell phone. He was trying to convince some poor victim on the other end that he really needed to come move out here and help him work. “Think of it like a vacation” was his motto.
Me was starting to feel sorry for the guy on the other end of the conversation. She felt he was being battered into making a decision too quickly. You have to understand that Me doesn’t like pressure or salesmen.
I was ready to go rescue the man’s poor kids who were waiting while their father was talking loudly, VERY loudly, on the phone. But you should have seen Myself when the man made a comment about how the poor victim “shouldn’t worry about family”!
Yeah, Me and I had to hustle Myself off to the ladies restroom before she boxed the man’s ears.
Going through checkout was a breeze. Neither Myself nor I whined for a sucker, gum or tic-tac. But had the cashier offered them the free sticker, they might have taken it.
The three walked slowly out to the car, enjoying the beautiful sunshine . . . and knowing the quiet was soon ending.
But then Me couldn’t get the car to start. Myself and I were giving her all kinds of advice until she finally shushed them all and called her hubby. Or rather, she tried. He didn’t answer.
Myself and I started whining “We’re cold! Can’t we just go back inside while you get it started?” Silencing them with the glare, she wiggled the key and steering wheel a little harder and it started!
All three cheered. In unison.
Driving home, they listened to one of their favorite songs. Myself kept an eye on the speedometer while I was watching the road. Me was finally done taking selfies, although still muttering about the puffy cheeks thing.
Finally they pulled back in the drive. Glad to have time alone. Yet glad to be home to the beautiful family that waited inside.
Plus, it meant there were a few more hands to help carry in the groceries . . . 🙂