Do you know how easy it is to type words that either make your life seem better or worse than it is? I think we all have this temptation to paint a different picture of our lives. Just so others will think better of us than they should.
Here at the Shoe, we are just like you.
We have our ups and our downs. Our messy homes and even messier cars. Our bills that continue to rise and our faith that sometimes isn’t strong enough.
My children whine just like yours. And they also have some really bad hairdays!
Sometimes they take much coaxing to get dressed. The little ones think shorties qualify as “fully clothed”.
The lady in me refuses to give in . . .
There are days I feel so inadequate as a mother. My house is never really clean, it seems like I’m cooking all the time, and my head spins from trying to juggle so many things.
And deep inside I have a fear that my children will grow up thinking of me as just a mean mom who only made them work and didn’t take the time to play. So I force myself to close my eyes to the pile of dirty dishes, the bread that’s rising, and the wash that is waiting to be folded.
And play Thomas the Tank Engine.
The Little Guy is happy and Mommy has soothed her conscience until tomorrow . . .
My poor, pantless children sometimes holler down the stairs that “they don’t have anything to wear”! Ok, so they holler that quite often.
Sometimes it seems like they think it’s a contest as to who can rip their pants first, or get grass stains on them, or plain outgrow them when Mom isn’t looking. And why do they wait to tell me they “don’t have anything to wear” until it’s only one hour before we must leave for school?
Now you probably are not like me, but I make them go dig out dirty pants from the wash basket. And then hope nobody will notice at school that day . . .
Then there are the days that I try three times to get pants hemmed up. And it never works. I bust not only one needle, but two.
I yelled after that second needle. Really loud I yelled.
Now I’m out of needles.
And the pants have one long leg and one short leg. But merciless me is going to make the boy wear them long-legged whether they drag on the floor or not.
And after too many busted needles I eat too many of these. And then I feel guilty.
When the baby’s fussy I feel like I can’t get a single thing done. So I will put the two little guys in the bathtub and sit there with them.
The work will never end.
But someday my babies will.
Probably my biggest insecurity is being the mother of five boys. They simply don’t do things like I did with my sisters growing up. I’m not sure I understand them or ever will.
And now we’re right on the edge of the cliff called puberty.
And it drives me to my knees.
I’ve decided there are two things that will get me through these teenage years with five boys: lots of prayer and their dad. He knows how boys think and tick and act – so he’ll get ’em. I will cover the other bases on my knees.
Do you ever feel like your house gets taken over by six-year-old scientists or eight-year-old carpenters? When I’ve finally had enough of lab concoctions in my kitchen, I send them out to the front porch or into the basement. Someplace where I won’t step on them, sit on them, eat on them, or trip on them.
I want my kitchen back, thank you very much.
And then after all the frustrations of the day: the smudges on the windows, the traffic jam in the bathtub, the broken sewing needles, and the Legos in my sink . . . I realize I LOVE my life.
I love the fat little cheeks. That happy, slobbering baby. The dimples peeking at me.
I’ll never get it down right, but God gave me the best job I could ever want: being a mother.
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Sunny Chick says
You are very normal. and yes boys grow out of there pants overnite!
Cara Lorenz says
Oh Kendra, I laughed till I cried because the words you write could have came straight out of my thoughts today too. Yesterday, I yelled a bit too when my sewing machine was broken *again* and when I finally got it kind of working, it will now only sew backwards. I was so incredibly frustrated at a simple sewing job turning into an hour or more… but of course it was so funny to my man when I relayed it 😉 Btw… I share your fears & insecurities of not being a good mom, but as a friend looking at the mom you are & the great kids you have, let me just encourage you that, yes! you are a great momma and a wonderful example to me as well.
Valerie says
“I’ve decided there are two things that will get me through these teenage years with five boys: lots of prayer and their dad. He knows how boys think and tick and act – so he’ll get ‘em. I will cover the other bases on my knees.”
As a mom to 6 boys aged 11-26, let me tell you ,this is the ONLY way! But you will be amazed at how often they want to talk to Mom and how often YOU will be the understanding ear they need. When it happens then all your prayers will kick in with the right words to say and your heart will warm that they need their Mom very, very much and you will know that playing Thomas the Tank Engine opened the way for that relationship! They will still need their clothes washed and they won’t be able to find socks but most of all they will need a Mom that cares about their struggles and who they know stands squarely behind Dad when they think he’s unreasonable. And , yes, you’ll make it . With God and Dad, you’ll make it and they will rise up and call YOU blessed!
Julia Shetler says
love this.Made me smile very deeply;-)
Monica Hershberger Yoder says
I like this very much…I feel the same way. (Except for being the mother of 5 boys soon to enter their teenage years…I only have 2 boys, the oldest is almost 6. )
Sharon Skrivseth says
Hang in there ! You are very normal:)
Sandra Stockton Madera says
Love this Kendra I feel this way so much and I only have one.
raisingcropsandbabies says
Loved this post! I am the mother of 3 boys (6,5, and 3-1/2) and part of me dreads the teenage years (farm equipment and teenage boys who are daring and only a year apart each), but the other part of me is so excited to see what lies ahead. But, yes, lots of prayers and Papa is my thoughts too!
Amber says
Wow! Just what I needed today!! As a Mom of 4 boys (9, 7, 5 & 1), sometimes I get so overwhelmed with the never ending mess and the wildness at our house!! But I too, try to remind myself that one day these boys will be grown and gone and THEN is when I’ll keep my house clean and I’ll probably long for the mess again but for now, it’s more important for me to take time for them and be there for them! Thanks so much for the encouragement!!
April says
Kendra you are speaking my language right now! I feel like my life is such a swinging pendulum of emotions these days. So tired, so stretched to my limits but so in love with my life right now! You have such a way with words!
Katy says
Oh how sweet is that last picture! I may be joining you in the ranks of five boys soon- #5 surprise is on “it’s” way! I’ve really enjoyed your blog. thanks for sharing. 🙂
Living in the Shoe says
Congratulations! Boys are so adventurous. Truth is, children are just plain fun!