This is a post I dread a little since it could come across as me looking like I’ve got it all together. Please read this with the thought in mind that it cut me to the heart just to write these down.
I am definitely still in the learning process, but here are a few things I’ve learned and that have been shared with me by godly women of how we can be either a crown or rottenness to the man God has given us.
In order to be a crown and bring your husband honor and respect, you need to . . . . .
- Behave yourself with the dignity befitting a queen.
- Dress with modesty and decorum. As one quote goes, “Dress around other men like you would want other women to dress around your husband.” Modesty also carries over into the way we act around other men.
- Shush the complaints. Complaining doesn’t change the circumstance one whit; it only makes everyone around you miserable, too.
- When there is an issue, speak once or twice, then shut up and pray.
- Speak of your husband’s strengths and accomplishments.
- When, in the humanness of your mind, you perceive something that needs changed in your husband or within your marriage, be the first to pray “Lord, change my heart.”
- Use his money wisely.
- Thank him often and emphatically for all the hard work he does to provide for you, and the guidance he gives your family.
- Train your children well so that coming home is not dreaded by him after a long day’s work.
- Be his biggest supporter when he has been declared a success.
- Be his biggest supporter when he has been declared a failure.
- If he has sinned against God and you, be willing to take a stand for the truth. Even if it causes you shame and hurt.
- Treat him as a king, and he will in turn make you his queen.
But if one wishes to go the route of rottenness, ruin and shame, you will need to . . .
- Dress immodestly so that his heart cannot safely trust in you.
- Complain loudly about how he is not fulfilling your wants.
- Forget praying – nag him until he’d rather be anywhere but around you.
- Tell all your friends and family of his faults.
- Never see how the situation can be bettered by you changing your heart. Everything is all his fault anyway.
- Shop every store, mall, and sale so that he is brought to financial ruin. And especially don’t ask him before making a major purchase.
- Never thank him for his hard work.
- Don’t train his children. They’re half his anyway!
- Be his loudest critic. Have no regard for his pride or privacy about when or where you criticize his business ventures, financial investments, and spiritual decisions.
- Don’t take responsibility for the heart of your husband if he is headed down a path of sin.
- Always make him feel as though you know more about spiritual matters than he does.
- Treat him like scum and you will have effectively brought him down from a place of honor to dishonor, from respect to pity, from wealth to ruin, and from integrity to shame.
Oh, ladies. Let us not take our responsibilities lightly! They have placed their trust in us.
Let’s not let them down, but lift them up.
I’d love to hear ways that you have learned to be a crown to your husband. You’re welcome to share them in the comments below!! Thank you.