I know so many people have felt sorry for us with Lowell’s accident in May, his excruciating pain, his rehabilitating, his recent surgeries, and again with his recent fall where he broke his elbow. (Yes, for those of you who didn’t hear – he fell while carrying Logan and rebroke his left elbow. But that’s a story for the next email . . . ) For now, we want you to know that you don’t need to feel sorry for us. We’ve done enough of that ourselves. Sure, Lowell feels sorry for himself that he can’t climb a ladder, that he can’t hardly floss his own teeth, that he can’t play ball or hike these mountains he loves so well. And I feel sorry for myself that I have to be the one to put the kids to bed almost every night, to blow the snow from our drive, put the salt in the softener, and spray the weeds in our yard. But we cannot say that we wish this had never happened. To do so would be to turn a blind eye at all the changes God has wrought in our hearts, souls, and lives. It is so very hard to describe unless you’ve been through a fire and come out feeling different. Everybody has their own fire, their own personal battle of faith – whether big or little, they all shape us into vessels God can use.
I guess that long paragraph was simply to say that if you’re feeling sorry for us, you’re wasting your time. For we don’t feel sorry for ourselves. I know that probably sounds cocky, but I absolutely don’t mean it to. I just feel like I need to let somebody know that if you’re in a personal battle right now where it seems as though nothing can go right, you simply have to choose to believe that God has a purpose for this and will use it for His glory. You may feel as though your guts are being torn out, but once He has brought you to the end of your own human rope, He will fill you with a “peace that passeth all understanding”. Simply put, I now trust Him more implicitly than I ever have in my life. I know without a doubt that nothing happens by coincidence, but all things are according to His will. Some things are in His divine will, others He simply allows to happen and uses them for His honor and glory.
We have become so Americanized and depend on our own strength so much we forget that if we ask, He will answer. Ask in simple, childlike faith – and God will give a simple answer. Many times I’ve asked Him to work in my heart, changing it the way He wanted it. And God answered last year on May 10, 2008. It hasn’t been easy and I know it’s not over yet, but the benefits have far outweighed the risks. Benefits that I can carry with me to eternity.
We love you all!
The Idaho Grabers