I read several homeschool blogs and will confess that sometimes they make me feel guilty. I have a sister who homeschools her seven children while I am driving mine to school every morning at 7:45am. And I have several friends who also school their children at home, rather than sending them to a private or public school.
What’s a mom like me supposed to do who loves the classroom, yet we have decided it would be best to send our children to our church school?
When I was only five years old, I’m pretty sure I nearly drove my mother crazy with my pleas to enter kindergarten. Finally, she let me visit one day and that day is still implanted in my memory.
Something happened that day.
The love of school, learning, and eventually – teaching, was forever embedded in my heart.
I taught for one year before we got married and that year, too, is one I will never forget. I learned more from my fourth, fifth, and sixth-graders than they learned from their nineteen-year-old teacher!
Had we not had the choice of our own private, Christian church school, we would definitely homeschool. But as it is, our church has a wonderful school of close to 75 students with the principal (and high school teacher) being one of our ministers.
Our children love going to school! I know it would break their hearts to take them out of school. We believe they are receiving an excellent education while learning to deal with positive and negative peer pressure in a controlled environment. There have been multiple opportunities for us to teach them how to do right when others are doing wrong. Not saying they always obey, but it’s valuable lessons learned.
You could view the private school classroom as a mini-world. It gives them the chance to sprout their wings, deal with peer pressure, and learn to make hard decisions before hitting the “real world”. This is probably why some homeschool communities have their own days they get together to do essentially the same thing for their children.
So what’s a mom like me to do when I’d rather be following my children to school than staying home doing the laundry?
For me, here is what has worked:
- Be involved. As a former teacher, I cannot express to you parents how important this is. I firmly believe that the more involved a parent is in their child’s education, the more successful the child will be.
- Help your child with their homework, especially areas they struggle in. If your child needs extra work to comprehend their subject, let their teacher know you are willing to help them in it. Problem areas need to be dealt with as they happen, not after they fail the course. That is why it’s important to keep tabs on how they’re doing on a daily basis. For us, we’ve found prevention is worth a pound of cure! I had one child who claimed they’d studied for the quiz, only to fail it two times before I realized I needed to help this child with the studying. It worked! The quiz was finally passed, the book finished, and the final test was passed as well. I just wish I’d caught on before the first attempt at the quiz.
- Support your child’s teacher. If this means bringing them a cup of coffee at break or offering to answer questions during study time, your child’s teacher will greatly appreciate it. It also helps to have an open relationship with the teacher so they will tell us when and where there are problem areas in our child.
- Offer to teach a class or volunteer for field trips. We have people who do great with being there for special classes. With little ones still at home, sometimes it’s hard to find a way to help. So find your own way. For me, I’ve had the opportunity to be a substitute teacher for Junior High. I don’t think our Junior High teacher realizes how much this fills a little void in my heart. If I could be anywhere besides my own sweet home, it would be in the classroom.
- Watch your child at recess to see how they are doing socially. This is something I like to do whenever I’m at school a little early or whether I’m there for a sewing, etc. I want to know that my child is kind to other children and respectful to their teacher. By covertly watching on the sidelines while they play at recess, I can pick up where they need improvement in.
- Do what you can to insure the success of your school. If your school does not succeed, and your teacher does not succeed, then your child will not be successful either. Ask the school board, principal or teachers about what you do to help your little school be successful. They will love you for it! And your child may thank you for it one day, too. This is one I can do better in – glad God gives us room to grow.
Even though I may not be directly responsible for my child’s education, I decided to get at least my nose and a few fingers into it! I want my children to know I care about what they are learning and how well they learn it.
So if you’re like me and feel a slight sense of loss when you drop the kids off at school, remember there are ways you can still feel fulfilled and needed. Your child will always need you – no matter where they are or what age they find themselves.
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Jessie says
Well said Kendra! I love it! I can’t help but think that one day when your youngest child is school age….. you might join the teaching team at our church school. I can tell you are a natural born teacher.
Eize en Annemieke says
Hello Kendra, Thanks fot this blogpost. I’m from Holland and we don’t homeschool here because Christian schools get money from the government just as public schools. So if we would have children (we are waiting for an adoptive child right now) we would be in kind of the same situation. I’m a teacher now too and love the idea of homeschooling, but unless we emigrate : ) we couldn’t do that in the future. So your advice to are more involved will be copied ans stored in my computer archive for later. Thank again,
Annemieke
S.R.M. says
I think mothers have a certain amount of guilt no matter what path they choose. 🙂 It’s just a fact of life and each family needs to prayerfully decide what is right for them and for each child.
Susan
Rebecca says
I really enjoyed reading this, Kendra. You described it just the way I feel! Maybe when you teach school once it always stays in your blood:)I had a hard time giving up the idea of teaching my kids because I love it so much, but school has definitely been good for all of us!Probably in more ways than we realize. With home-schooling Annie the last few months, I have gotten a taste of what it’s like to be a real home-school mom…I must say I have gained a new admiration for those who do it full time! I think each one has their challenges in different ways. I really appreciate your ideas on how to stay involved even when they do go off to school, and that the success of the teachers and students largely depend on the support of us as parents.
Janet says
Ah, I’ve been a teacher and a teacher’s aid and have to say, I never wanted to have to HS my children. Now that the time is upon me and I will have to HS my children I am actually thankful as I really would rather have them close to me for a few more years. It seems they are suddenly growing up so fast! I do however want them to have the opportunity to go to school and learn to interact and relate to other children, handle peer pressure, etc…. just sorta glad they don’t have to start at age six. I think one of the BIG things too that parents can do to get involved in their children’s school life is to train their children at home. It really isn’t the teacher’s job to teach them to chew with their mouth closed, be respectful, not talk loudly, share, be obedient, sit still, pay attention, be observant, etc…. Being a Mom IS being a teacher in the very important school of Life. We are setting the stage for them to enter into the world of School. If we cannot get them to cooperate, obey, sit still, etc at home, how is the teacher suppose to be able to do that at school? I agree with so much of what you said. Parents that respect, support, and stand behind their children’s teacher as much as possible are such a blessing!!! I hope so much that one day we will be where we can send our boys to a Christian School… what a blessing that would be! For now I shall try my best to take my teaching “skills” beyond Mommyhood into teacherhood, and be thankful for this extra time that I get to have with my kiddos.
Anonymous says
I am a homeschool mom. 🙂 And would much rather send mine to school. But, that is not an option where I live, other than the public school. I have to tell myself daily that I CAN do this (I do NOT enjoy teaching) and I have to make a mental effort not to let my dislike of this come across to my children. I really really struggle. Just being honest here. I personally feel that children NEED to go to school to learn how to get along with children other than siblings and to learn respect for adults other than their parents. Just my opinion, tho, and I know alot of moms out there don’t agree. 🙂
Beth Cover says
Blessings to you, Kendra – for treating this subject so well! I agree, and sometimes I feel a bit guilty for not homeschooling. But one of my very favorite things is going and helping in the 3-4th grade room every other week =) Love you!
Kendra says
I know this post is four years old now, but it blessed me a lot today! We send my 5yo daughter to a wonderful private Christian school about the same size as yours, it’s been so good for our family. I had planned on homeschooling since the majority of my friends here do, but the Lord showed me that that isn’t His plan for us right now. The day I dropped my daughter off at school was a day of emotional release and peace for me, I know it’s because I finally obeyed the Lord’s leading and layer down my homeschool desires. I definitely fall into the envy trap when I read beautiful homeschool blogs and find myself feeling like a colossal failure. But everyone is called to something different, and I love how you listed ways we can serve our little schools. I am hoping to do more for my daughter’s sweet teacher when I crawl out of first trimester tiredness. I went to college to be an Art Teacher so I totally get how the love of schooling and learning can ignite this fire in your heart, haha!
Blessings,
Kendra
Kendra says
Your testimony is a beautiful one! I find I do my best when I take myself out of the comparison game. 🙂 Hope your tiredness ends soon!